After the Boys of Summer Have Gone

This has been one of my favorite summer vacations. It has been wonderful staying close to home, spending restful days in my house or with friends. I am thankful for this Summer Manifesto (as it has come to be known) that helped me give some structure and purpose to my idle days. I posted it on here a few days before school let out, so I will now revisit it a few days before school returns—how poetic…

Sit by the pool with my girlfriends.
I’ve spent quite a few afternoons at the pool with some of the girls.

Regularly meet with two recent high-school graduates before they head off to college.
The thing about recent high-school graduates is that they are busy trying to earn money for college and making last-hurrah trips all summer. Sadly, this item was a fail.

Go for a jog/walk with Tracey.
Had a great time exercising with Tracey in her neighborhood one evening. Came back to her house and enjoyed some distilled water (with distilled ice!) while being introduced to Fail Blog.

Catch up with my long-lost mentor.
As her fourth baby will be coming along any day now, I was very fortunate to spend some time with her at the beginning of the summer.

Read the ever-growing pile of books on my nightstand.
Read the pile and then some! I have made many trips to the public library this summer and will probably not remember 75% of the things I’ve read. Some summer reading highlights were Marian Jordan’s Wilderness Skills for Women and Sandra Dallas’s Prayers for Sale.

Visit Campus Outreach students during Summer Beach Project.
Not only did I get to see Megan during SBP, I got to worship with her at Surfside PCA, a church I’ve been hearing raves about for years! (But no one told me it was pink!) I also got to visit Whitney who was in Myrtle Beach doing Summer Shine at the KOA campground. It is always exciting to hear how God is moving and shaking in these students’ lives as they devote their summers to him.

Go to a Phillies game (this could be tricky).

Used my last summer weekend to make a quick trip to Atlanta. The Phillies beat the Braves 3-2 and I got to see why Shane Victorino is truly the Flyin’ Hawaiian—he was all over the outfield, denying the Braves homeruns like a beast.


Buy an enormous drying rack for my clothes; use the dryer less.



Take a couple former students to the movies with Shannon.
Another summer manifesto fail. Between our travels and her adjustment to life with a new baby, Shannon and I barely hung out at all this summer. If there’s a bright spot to going back to school, it’s being able to see more of this dear friend!

Read, mark and inwardly digest the Bible.
This is something that needs never be checked off the list. There’s always more to be read, marked, and digested!

Spend quiet days by myself, allowing the Lord to restore my soul.
So many lovely, quiet, restful days! What a blessing to be able to read and think and nap!

Keep working out every day; add morning cardio classes to my regimen.
I kept up the exercise program. My weeks at the beach gave me the chance to jog along the ocean and I’ve also taken my bike on some little treks. I’ve done some morning cardio classes at the gym too. Zumba sculpt was awesome, cardio sculpt made me want to cry. Water aerobics is always entertaining, even if the “regulars” are not particularly welcoming.

Miss my workout partner like crazy.
It’s really good to have her back. Exercise is just so much more fun when there’s someone with you—someone to witness the strange goings-on at the gym.

Have coffee and conversation with lots of people.
I've had great conversations with old friends and gotten to know some new ladies. I even got 10 cents off for knowing the answer to Caribou Coffee’s question of the day once.

Try quilting, or at least find a quilting class I can try.
Found the classes, just can’t find the time to take them.

Talk about starting a multi-generational small group for women.
Another fail! I was going to talk about it with a woman from my church and I think I’ve seen her once since May…

Facilitate the second meeting of the women’s book club.
August 29th, can’t wait!

Tell my story.
The Thursday night girls have had a wonderful summer of hearing each other’s stories. It’s been a real blessing to get to know these women a little more deeply and to find out how God won our hearts.

Visit old friends.


Be purposeful.
Another item that I can’t check off the list. I’ve been calling this my “Summer of Intention” for ages, but living with a purpose is not seasonal. My days off have given me more opportunities to encourage ministry, to learn about ministry and to do ministry. The challenge for me now is to continue being intentional about ministry, even as I go back to working full time.

Build houses and friendships with high school students.



Swim in the ocean.
Something about the sunrise
Reminds me of Your faithfulness
Something about the ocean
And I’m lost in love again
--Ten Shekel Shirt

Doo, Doo, Doo, Looking Out My Back Door

When I bought my house four years ago, the development was brand-new with houses still being built around mine. One reason I chose my house was because there were no houses directly behind it, just a steep drop and some tree trunks. The ground was that distinct Carolina clay color with some weeds sprouting up and a trickle of water running.

Looking out my back door now, I am amazed at how the landscape has healed from the shock of bulldozers and backhoes that disrupted it a few years ago. Instead of red earth, what I see now is leaves. The tree trunks I thought were dead are sprouting. There are wildflowers on the hill behind my house. Lately a rabbit has been spending time in my back yard. Cosmo, who is usually hanging on by a thin thread, goes absolutely bananas when the rabbit appears. There are birds all over the place. (For those of you who know me well, as long as the birds and I are separated by windows and walls, I can deal with them.) They jump around on my deck, they chirp in the trees outside my windows.

When this development was being built, the squirrel population must have died out or moved elsewhere. I have yet to see a squirrel here. I can’t say I really miss them (I know how they drive my bird-feeding and tomato-growing relatives to distraction), but I think that when I do see a squirrel in the neighborhood, it will be a sign that the landscape really is back to normal.

All the Single Ladies

I had the privilege of attending a conference this weekend featuring three dynamic women teaching from the Bible. These women are among the greatest voices of our generation and they drew a crowd of over 11,000 women to my hometown arena (note to the Florida Marlins: you might get bigger crowds if you sign these ladies). The teaching was first-class and I am so thankful to have been there.

To close the conference, all three speakers took the stage for an informal question and answer session. The first 20 minutes or so were devoted to encouraging wives and mothers. It got raucous in the arena as jokes about sex and breast pumps flew (jokes flew, not the actual pumps). There is nothing like being a single girl in an auditorium full of women who are shouting “Amen!” when someone is making a joke about not wanting to have sex at the end of a long day. What immediately followed that outburst was, “Let’s encourage our single sisters.” So after 20 minutes of feeling like an outsider I was really excited to hear what these three gifted, godly women were going to say about my situation.

Let’s just say I turned to the woman beside me and said, “If I had nickel…” All the biblical knowledge on that stage and the best they could do for the single sisters was, “Enjoy your singleness. Serve Jesus.” There is nothing wrong with this teaching; it’s pretty much a paraphrase of God’s inspired word to Paul in 1 Corinthians. But it deflated me nonetheless.

Enjoy your singleness (which is always accompanied by the suggestion to go to Europe) and serve Jesus is advice you give to freshly-minted single people. Once you’ve been single for a few years and you’ve got a few stamps in your passport, you need deeper encouragement.

If I had been on that stage today, here are some things I would have shared with my single sisters. At different times during my single season, each of these lessons has taken its turn being most important. Maybe some day I’ll put some meat on the bones, but for now they are bullets…

--You don’t have to keep your desires a secret—not from your married friends, not from your single friends, and certainly not from your God. Desiring marriage doesn’t make you weak (although typing that sentence makes me a little shaky…)
--Marriage does not mean you’ve arrived and can finally start your life. First of all, no one ever arrives in this life. Second of all, your life started a long time ago. Do something with it (have you ever been to Prague?).
--You don’t have to be a missionary!
--The girl who has everything you want has hurts, disappointments, and unmet desires of her own. Don’t avoid her.
--No one deserves blessings from God. You can’t earn them for yourself and you’ve got no business criticizing the girls who are getting them.
--Be careful where you put your hope. It’s easy to put your eggs in the wrong guy’s basket. There’s only One who won’t disappoint you.
--You know the girl who says, “You just need to be content. As soon as I was content with being single I met Bob.”? Hit that girl—someone needs to stop her. Contentment is not the secret entrance to the next season of your life. It’s just a nice place to be. If you find yourself there, enjoy it!
--Serve Jesus. Ugh! I can’t believe I’m agreeing! When that advice is given as a spiritual pat on the head it really bugs me, but the reality is, the best way to be in fellowship in the body of Christ is to get involved! Very few married people are inclined to reach out to single sisters—unless they get to know you first. And how do they get to know you? From the way you serve.

Leave it to me to experience six hours of amazing biblical teaching and then walk away fired-up by a five-minute afterthought. But if being fired-up about singleness (yet again) gets me crying out to God and committing my future to Him (yet again), then so be it!

She's a Good Girl, Loves Her Mama, Loves Jesus, and America too...

Sometimes I get a little worried that I should have been a boy. These thoughts usually enter my mind when I’m recalling random sports statistics. I am a big sports fan. I love my Philadelphia teams passionately and can carry on an intelligent conversation about most other sports. This blog will probably be desolate during the fantasy football season.

There are other reasons why I think I’m not very good at being a girl. I have no use for Lifetime, TLC, or hair straighteners. Nicholas Sparks can’t make me cry (just throw up in my mouth a little). I own a really beastly drill and a plumber’s snake and I’m not afraid to use them. I kill all my own spiders (I admit calling my brother to get a dead bird off my porch) and I don’t like weddings.

The truth is, though, power tools and Sports Center do not make the man—or a man. Underneath my macho interests, down in my emotional wiring, I am all girl. I was having lunch with a girlfriend the other day and sharing with her some of the worries that are consuming me this week. I talked about desperately wanting to find a balance between two extremes (“My world will end if…” vs. “My life will begin when…”). Wisely, my friend said, “Of course you do. You’re a girl.”

During another lunch with the same friend, I vented about not being able to turn off my brain, about not being able to keep it from getting 10 steps ahead of my actual life. Again, she said, “Of course not. You’re a girl. We all do that.”

These conversations have brought huge relief. First, they have assured me that I am not bad at being a girl. Second, they have shown me that I am not alone in my tendency toward worry, or more honestly, frenzy.

I’m still chewing on the worry issue in my life and I’ll let you know what I figure out. In the meantime, I can recommend Marian Jordan’s Wilderness Skills for Women. Her writings on worry made me cry (take that, Mr. Sparks!).

Walking Through an Empty House, Tears in My Eyes

Since buying my house four years ago, I’ve had three roommates (not including my cat, Cosmo). Somehow, I’ve managed to be out of town when all three ladies moved out. Today I returned from a week at the beach to a house with an empty bedroom, empty shelves, and an empty feeling.

Looking around at all the space, I am tempted to spread out. For example, there are now two empty shelves in my pantry. When I was unpacking food from my beach trip, I threw it on the empty shelves instead of trying to organize it. My last roommate kept some things on the kitchen counter and I’ve already found myself dumping things in those empty spots. With no one sharing the space, it will be easy to get lazy about tidying up.

It will be easy to get lazy about other things too. Being on vacation with my family this week showed me how accustomed I am to having my own space and doing my own thing. I don’t want the TV on, but my dad is watching CNN. More people in the house want to watch The Deadliest Catch than The Bachelorette. I have to wait to use the internet. If these simple things were challenging this week, after I’ve had a roommate for a while, how hard will they be when I’ve been completely on my own?

For me, the worrisome thing about living alone isn’t being lonely; it’s forgetting how to play well with others.

L.A.'s Fine, but it Ain't Mine, New York's Home, but it Ain't Mine No More

It occurred to me recently that I am pretty hard on the town where I live. It’s a habit I picked up living in Philadelphia. Philadelphians are filled with hometown pride, but we temper it with a good bit of cynicism about our city. We can put our city down, but if an outsider tries it—it’s on.

Now I live in North Carolina, in a city nowhere near as grand as Philadelphia, and I rarely say anything good about this place. But if I really hate it here, why do I stay? As I was driving around running errands today, I was thinking of the little things I love about this town.

1. The Stamey’s sign that tells what flavor cobbler they’re serving each day.
2. Going to Edward McKay, selling an assortment of “what was I thinking?” CDs, and leaving with $20 and a Paul Simon CD bought with store credit.
3. Hearing local Idol Chris Daughtry singing a cover of “Poker Face” on the radio.
4. Being able to visit three different Targets in the same day.
5. The sense of accomplishment I feel now that I can drive from place to place without getting lost. This is not an easy place to drive (it was not planned on a grid like a certain other city…) and the roads change names without warning. This week was the first time I drove to my friend Heather’s house without directions.
6. My local grocery store is tidy, well-stocked, and staffed with the nicest people in the world. I’m convinced I will die in the lawless parking lot, but the store itself is a treasure.
7. The neighborhood around Walker & Elam reminds me of the neighborhood where I grew up—only posher.
8. Taking walks through Battleground Park, and going for bike rides along the greenway. I love that this town invests in places for us to keep fit.
9. My local branch of the library, set back in the woods with its sun porches and walking trails, is as fun as it is functional.
10. Downtown is going through a renewal. I love that restaurants like Ganache make their meals using locally grown products. I love getting a cider and some sweet potato chips while sitting on the upstairs deck at M’Coul’s.
11. Speaking of locally grown products, the farmers’ market is amazing.
12. The abundance of Mexican restaurants.

Mostly, though, what I love about living here is the same thing I miss about living there—the people.

Every Time We Say Goodbye

Last week I received a phone call from Compassion International informing me that one of the children I sponsor left the program. The message they left on my voice mail was very encouraging. Her family was pursuing opportunities in another area where there wasn’t a Compassion site, but she planned to finish school and hoped to continue on studying medicine. In the meantime, she has gained computer skills through the Compassion center that will help her find work when she does finish school and she has heard (and I believe accepted) the Gospel.

Knowing that she has moved on has caused me to reflect on our relationship. I started sponsoring her when she was 10 years old. The first picture of her I received showed a little girl with big eyes, a smile, and two braids tied with colorful hair bands. Since then, more pictures have come and I have watched her grow from a girl of ten to a young lady of 17.

When I moved to North Carolina, I met a man who is on staff with Compassion. He was taking a trip to the Dominican Republic—where this child lives. He graciously agreed to take some small presents to her from me on his trip. Soon I received a picture of her wearing bows in her hair that I had sent.

There have also been letters. In them, she would tell me about her hopes for the future, her progress at school (I even received some of her report cards), and her desire to see her friends and family come to Christ. She also faithfully inquired about my parents’ cat, Lizzy, who was my cat when I began sponsoring her. Somewhere in the Dominican Republic, there are pictures of Lizzy and her successor, Cosmo.

It is disappointing that I won’t get to see her finish school and exit the Compassion program ready to support herself; but I am thankful for the years we’ve had. I am excited to begin a relationship with another little girl the Compassion folks are mailing me (information about her, not the actual child). I look forward to Heaven, where I will get to meet these kids and where we will be able to talk without translators.