For Richer or Poorer

This week I received an email survey. The survey had a bunch of questions that could only be answered with one word. When I got to the question, “Your life?” I answered “Rich.” It was kind of a funny word choice for me. The only time I really use “rich” is when I’m disrespecting my father as only an overindulged daughter can; as in, “Take it easy, Rich, I’ll get the muffler fixed.”

So why did that word come to mind? And what do I mean by having a rich life?

The Thursday night Bible study girls were talking about budgets and finances. Apparently, it’s pretty common for the married girls to receive allowances, or to ask their husbands for money for haircuts and cosmetics. When I put myself in their shoes, I got a mental picture of me asking some shaggy-haired, flannel-wearing dude for $20 after I’ve been out working all day while he’s been sitting on the couch playing Guitar Hero (in my house, on my couch, playing my Wii). The thought gave me chest pain.

After Bible study I got to spend time with some friends who are closer to my age. When I told them about the allowances and about my fear of asking my Reality Bites slacker of a husband for a twenty, they were quick to reassure me. Heather promised it would be completely different for me because I am not starting out. I own a home; I am established in my career. She even threw in the word “bread-winner.” Shannon assured me that when she got married in her 30’s there were adjustments to be made, but she never had to ask her husband for haircut money. Nakia promised me that every relationship is different.

This is what I mean by having a rich life. There is a depth to my relationships and a variety among my friendships. Some of the girls I know are so different from me I have to take a giant step back; their lives and their choices challenge me to suspend judgment. Knowing them has given me a broader perspective.

Other friends are so much like me, it’s comfortable to be with them and say, “Yes! You get it!” It is great to be understood.

I think it’s important to have both groups of people in my life—the friends who widen my horizons, as well as the safe ones. If all of my friends were wildly different from me, I might feel pressured to change and to become someone I’m not. If all my friends were exactly like me, I would become “constipated” to use another of Heather’s phrases.

I’m thankful for the differences, the variety and the richness these people bring to my life.

And, if I'm being honest, I'm thankful I don't have to ask anyone for money.