Last week I had the opportunity to take a meal to a family that just brought home a new baby. I really enjoyed planning what to make, preparing the meal and packaging it conveniently. The meal came together perfectly. Since it was St. Patrick’s Day, I even made shamrock-shaped cookies coated with green sugar for dessert. I arrived at the home and things were going great until the proud mama asked me if I’d like to hold the baby.
I responded, a little too quickly, a little too frankly, “No thanks, I am not a baby person.” It’s always best to be honest, I reasoned, and I know many of my friends who have kids don’t mind at all when someone passes on a chance to hold their little ones. But still, how can I defend the statement “I am not a baby person”?
It’s not that I dislike babies. I think I dislike being with babies while their parents watch expectantly. I don’t know if the parents are expecting the baby and I to have this beautiful bonding moment, or if they’re anxious I might drop it. What I know is that it makes me very self-conscious. I’m not familiar with the protocols for rocking, singing, or making noises, so I tend to stand still and speak to the baby as if it were 25 years old. So, you were born. Well done, you. That’s a fine-looking onesie you’re wearing. Meanwhile, the kid’s parents are looking on in awkward fear.
When I told this story, a friend asked me, “So what do you plan to do, adopt two-year-olds?” While I’m game for whatever kind of family God gives me, I do hope to have my own babies at some point. I assume it will be different with my babies. When I talk to them like adults, there won’t be anyone watching. If I want to sing them Billy Joel songs, I can let loose a couple verses of “New York State of Mind” and no one will care.
Perhaps I need a new way of demurring when people ask me to hold their babies. Something like, “Sure, but only if you’re not watching” or, “Before I commit to anything, what are your expectations for holding, rocking and cooing?”
Any parents out there with suggestions?
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
9 years ago
I'll take you just the way you are.
ReplyDeletePeople with children understand that most people don't want to hold our babies. We love them and yet don't expect everyone else to. You are not abnormal at all in this. I used to get nervous that babies would spit up on me and I couldn't think of anything worse. Then I had a baby of my own who spits and it doesn't bother me at all. Other baby's spit still bothers me though. So there is hope that you will be fine with your own child! Actually, you will make a great mom some day.
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