27 Disses

I recently heard a prayer for a couple’s engagement. The petitioner began by thanking God that the groom-to-be would not “have to be 27 and single.”

I wasn’t particularly stung by the comment, nor was I offended. I wasn’t even surprised. This was not the first time I’d heard God being thanked for marriage before a certain age, and it likely won’t be the last.

Traveling in evangelical circles, I’ve become accustomed to the institution of marriage being praised, while in contrast, singleness is regarded as something to be borne, and to be endured. It is seldom seen positively. One lifestyle is clearly favored over the other, even though Scripture affirms both (1 Corinthians 7).

Does such an elevated view of marriage affect the way Christians see individuals? Do we praise the married woman and tolerate the single girl? (I may have to write another post dissecting that sentence!) Have you ever found yourself wondering, if marriage is the ideal, why doesn’t everybody have one?

Asking these questions reminds me of the occasion in the Gospel of John when Jesus and His disciples pass a man born blind and the disciples ask Jesus who is responsible for the man’s blindness. Is it a result of his sin, or his parents’ sin?

In my twisted imaginings, married people ask each other, “Why is Joy still single? Was it her sin? (She really let herself go in college…) Was it her parents? (You can tell they totally spoiled her, she lived with them for, like, ever.)”

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.” John 9:3

Back in my imagination, Jesus is telling my critics, “My girl isn’t single because of sin. She’s unmarried that the work of God might be displayed her life. Look at her go.”

God has ordained the circumstances of the married and of the single. Just like He allowed a man to be born blind so that His glory could be revealed, He puts each of His children in specific circumstances that will show His power. For me, this knowledge levels the playing field. I am not the inferior of a woman who is 27 and married. I don’t revile or pity my singleness and, if I am allowing the work of God to be displayed in my life, no one else will either.